Paul Gascoigne opened up in the documentary "Gazza vs Paul" to share the drama of alcoholism that has followed him from the years of his retirement to today. More recently, the former Lazio player shared his experiences on the "High Performance" podcast, where he explained his feelings over the last thirty years, during which he went through various rehabilitation centers, never managing to free himself from the demon of alcohol. "I'm a sad drunk. People know Paul Gascoigne, but nobody knows Gazza. Not even I sometimes know who I really am".
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"The problem isn't drinking, but what comes after"
Alone and homeless, Gascoigne - who is now 56 years old - revealed that he lives in the guest room of his agent, Katie Davies, often attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. "Before, when I was drunk, I felt happy. Today I'm not anymore. I'm a sad drunk - so said Paul -. I don't go out to drink, I drink at home. If I want the day to be bad, I know I have to go to the pub. If I want it to be a good one, I just have to go fishing".
Despite now being able to have moments of balance and clarity that allow him to control his drinking habit, Gascoigne seems under no illusions. "The real problem isn't the drinking, but what comes after. When then I look at my phone and find 30 messages or missed calls, I know I'm in trouble. Last year wasn't great, it went on intermittently for a couple of months. But I never gave up, and I never will: the moment I'll give up, will be when I'm in a coffin"
"People know Paul Gascoigne but nobody knows Gazza - explained the former Lazio player -. Sometimes even I don't know who I really am. My problems with alcohol started after I retired. I don't think I've ever let down any coaches, nor players or fans. Rather, I've let down myself".
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